I meant to consolidate the things that I am actually proud of that I've done this year but this song is making me too happy and I shouldn't bother for now =)
I saw beyond the empty-looking breakwater
A city with its day-colored sails up
Moored in the port
When I was killing time one morning
At an empty coffee shop
I saw through the cracked glass
The rustling of the high-rises' silken clothes
Brushing on the sidewalk
As I was walking down a towering alley
In the outskirts of the city
I saw beyond the blotched fog
A streetcar still sluggish from sleep
Crossing over the sea
So, I gathered the wind (under my wings),
Gathered the wind (under my wings)
And ran across the blue sky
As I passed through a beautiful sunrise
... on Facebook! Hm... I don't know man, but I think this isn't right. Do you like poking strangers?
You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you're gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years. - Chris Rock
And that was food for thought!
"Oops. That's not your vagina. That's your asshole."
"Nice to talk to you.
Fuck your mother, okay?
Bye-bye."
It's not like I was waiting to become 28 like how I wanted to be 21, but aging in life is inevitable right? Being 28 at this moment doesn't make me feel "too" old yet, but not any younger either. This probably exhibited why till now, most of my entries are open ended.
SengMing was talking about his major detour, which, suddenly I should relate myself to that, more even so today. My life detours seem like an annual affair. Helping myself to look back, I am going to write a recollection of a major thought from each year, starting age 6.
Before age 6 - a very distant memory...
I woke up from a blue "double-decked" bed and heard grandma talking with herself (or with someone) in the kitchen while preparing some traditional medicine because I was sick (I think).
Age 6
Grandma walked me to Kindergarten (Tadika Pelita) every day. Because I was to tiny at that time, any walk seems to take forever. Now I drive pass the same road everyday after work, but the Kindergarten is no longer there.
I met a friend who used to steal 50cents from my pocket everyday to buy ice-cream after school. That fucker and I became wonderful friends, until today. Unlike other kids, I did not cry when my grandmother left me alone to a bunch of strangers in school. I was too scared to cry actually.
Had a big fight with another fucker from another class who coincidentally shared the same seat after our class was merged. That fucker and I also become wonderful friends, and we're still friends today. He's currently also my gym buddy.
My parents enrolled me to Electronic Organ classes. Marianne was my music teacher till I finally stopped at age 17 (Grade 5). Marianne is a sweet, young and talented lady who knows the perfect way to nurture "passion for music" into every children's heart. Throughout those years, my musical education was purely passion driven, not academical grades.
I was chosen to become school prefect and then got sacked a few months later due to incompetence. Being the only kid that got sacked (no one else got sacked) really gets you learning at that age. I also quit Chinese classes due to low self-esteem. My Chinese teacher was a bitch. She pinched my ears because I could not speak and understand mandarin at that time. Now I'm taking time to learn / speak / write / read mandarin again.
Age 11
I ranked 3rd out of 40 people (for the first time) in my class in overall academic performance. I had always been in the 20s before this. My education has taken a major renaissance at this point, and somehow I came to understood the importance to studying for good grades. Mrs. Spykerman (my tuition teacher) was the most influential tuition teacher that I've known.
Age 12
My parents had a big fight with my grandmother. Grandmother decided not to look after me and my sister anymore, so my parents had to take us back. My parents are very hardworking people trying to make ends meet every month. Because of that, we have never actually lived together as a family unit. After moving in with my parents, I had abruptly switched to another school, parting me from the 2 fuckers whom I love so much.
Age 13
Re-united with the 2 fuckers again, same new high school, but different class. New school, new people, I felt so small.
Age 14
Toughest age of my time. Everyone's hitting puberty, and I was barely there. At this time, I felt like an outcast. I remember myself feeling miserable 99% of this time of my life.
This is where freedom started. I could go to almost wherever I want without having my parents to bring me. I went to OBS and I met May (who is my finance today).
Birds and Bees, Flowers and Trees, See Bee, See Bee, See Bee, "Buaya" then prefect gatherings! Computer club! Not forgetting, my fuckers with additional members to make our new "good time" gang. There were so many I could mention, but I think the picture on left should have spoken it all.
Age 17
Me and my gang resigned (or feipoh Puan Chee prefer to call it "sack") from the Board of Prefects due to teacher politics, tuition conspiracies and other hypocritical bullshit. Our gang really stood out from the 2000 people in our school. Ask anyone from the gang today, and they will tell you how proud of what they have done.
First real kiss. With May. In Taipan, after dinner. Today we're unseparable, and will always be together.
Went to INTI College SJ - American Degree Program. Didn't make a lot of friends as a lot of people at this age should be.
Age 19
May joined INTI and quited later . I remembered during this year there were a lot of car pooling with my 2 friends, Raymond and Jackie, and also May. Also, there was Adnand's Corner in Happy Garden with the usual gang. This was, sadly, also the last year the gang hung out together. Each of us are now either too busy pursuing personal lifestyle, or has already settled elsewhere (not a bad thing though)
ISU - OMG this was the best time of my life. Never before in my life I have learned more than what the experience in ISU could give me.
1. I've met new people which never in my life I could imagine
2. I've learned that education in America was never once exam oriented
3. I've learned that liberation in America is actually real
4. I've learned how to cook my own dinner
5. I've learned what it's like to be in a long distance relationship
6. Most distinctively, my life has changed drastically after this year
Age 21 (Legal Drinking Age)
Which is also another excuse to get drunk, but this time legally in the club (without borrowing your azn's brother ID). During birthday I was "forced" to down 11 shots of JD in less than 2 hour, inside Coconut Joes. The aftermath was what pretty obvious. Friends were eating in Perkins while I was passing out in the car.
I graduated with a B.S. in Electrical Engineering. After the convocation, we quickly drove to Minnesota for a night clubbing, and rolling on pills like it's more important than my graduation. Yes, that was really how I felt. A few weeks after that, I finally left my friends and Ames for San Francisco hoping to find a field related full time job.
Age 23
San Francisco - Poor, jobless, depressing, suicidal but awakening. Towards the last few months of soul searching, however, I actually found out that selling virtual items were very profitable. From that point, I hopped into MMO industry, which today, I'm still doing it (not Diablo II anymore, of course). On the same year I missed May so much I've decided to leave America for Switzerland to live with her. Subsequently that year, we came back to Malaysia.
...and I thought I was still young. I partied through the entire year with alcohol and substance abuses. I should be thinking already about the next detour for my coming 5 years, but I didn't. This alcohol and substance shit kept going until...
... and I was still not bored yet, until...
Ket Bin getting married woke me up. I have been together with May for almost 10 years now and realized that we haven't been making solid plans. So for a start, we bought a condo, stayed home more often, and started saving money.
Once in a while, me and May would have a couple of drinks with familiar faces only and that's about it. Other things worth mentioning were -
1. My company has somewhat achieved milestones for departmentalizing staffs
2. My company has also found out that they overpaid incentives to everyone
3. That I spent those overpaid incentive for trip to Hong Kong
4. and May's career is improving too
Some men think it unmanly to be domesticated; I find gratification in it. I could never be more obsessed than thinking about our next 5 years. I think I have finally lost my affinity towards alcohol, drugs, and late night clubbing. All I enjoy doing now is my work, then gym, then movies, then cooking, then work, then rinse and repeat.
In the next few 5 years I'm seeing myself to...
- move in to our new home (2008)
- have a wedding dinner (by end 2009)
- have a baby (by 2010)
... to realize that, I probably need to find some more detours that could financially benefit the both of us first.
Being 28 is not that "old" I think, but I'm not feeling any young either. But at least I think it's probably a good idea to pen up a mini memoir of myself for the time being before I forget what have happened in the past 28 years of my life.
I've never been so self gratified blogging like this before. Happy Birthday, Colin!
For anything that is embedded in you for as long as you cared to remember, is it worth questioning? Should people at least pause and ask once in a while? Could this also lead to "All we can do is use the information at hand to make the best decision possible"?
Weekends can be quite unresting if your head constantly pick up random quotes from any damn movie that you've just watched.
"Look... we have no way of knowing what lays ahead for us in the future. All we can do is use the information at hand to make the best decision possible. It's gonna be fine."
- At the market, the part when Secretary Cleary (Christopher Walken) gave advice to Claire (Rachel McAdams).
Sometimes good comedy can bring up some good advice to savor for a day.
My next target BF% is 13%.
ETA: Oct. 2007 (perhaps to reveal some 4 packs that I never dreamed of)
And so I ran a Body Composition Analysis today with the following results -
Height: 170 cm
Muscle Mass: 52.5 kg
Body Fat Mass: 10.1 kg
Percentage Body Fat (%): 15.3% (24% 7 months before)
Fat Distribution: 0.82 (Normal for male is 0.80)
Fitness Score: 82
50-59: Unhealthy
60-69: Fair
70-79: Average
80-89: Very Good
90-100: Excellent
Clearly, some problems cannot be identified. These problems has no math to equate a solution. This is an absurd entry, with satirical meaning of intermittent problems in life.
